I fængsel / Goin' to jail

(for english, scroll down)
I forrige weekend om fredagen var Sid og jeg til fest hos Larena og hendes roommates, en veninde som også er fra Tyskland og en fyr fra Frankrig. Franskmanden skulle rejse hjem få dage efter, så de holdt en lille afskedsfest for ham. De har alle læst et semester på Academy of Art i SF. Det var rigtig hyggeligt, og der var mange mennesker fra forskellige steder, og vi var først hjemme ved 7tiden om morgenen - rigtig europæer feststil. Efter festen sov jeg 12 timer, og da jeg vågnede op var der fest i huset, som man jo ikke må gå glip af. Søndag var der Haight Street Festival, som var virkelig godt. Vi var nogle stykker fra huset der tog derind, mødtes med Kelley og de tyske piger igen. Det var en smule uoverskueligt så vi brugte en del tid på at blive væk fra hinanden og prøve at finde hinanden igen.
Tirsdag morgen tog jeg i fængsel - jeg havde fået en 30 dages godkendelse til at besøge det, så jeg havde lavet en aftale med arrangøren derude. Da jeg ankom og var kommet igennem kontrollen og havde afleveret mit pas og mobil, ankom arrangørerne af RSVP (resolve to stop violence program) men ingen af dem var klar over jeg skulle komme på besøg. Det viste sig så at min kontaktperson ikke kunne komme på arbejde fordi han havde problemer med bilen, men jeg blev budt velkommen da vi lige havde fundet ud af forvirringen.
Inden jeg kom ind i fængslet var jeg ret nervøs, men blev lynhurtigt tryg ved at være der. Så snart jeg trådte ind i pod'en (afdelingen med fanger) blev jeg budt velkommen, og fangerne var meget nysgerrige over hvorfor jeg var der. Der er 48 fanger i denne afdeling, og de blev delt op i 3 grupper inden vi startede klassen. Det begyndte med checkins på samme måde som på Glide, hvor man en efter en fortæller om hvordan ens uge er gået, hvad man lærte sidste uge, hvad man gerne vil opnå fra gruppen denne uge, og om man har haft en voldelig episode. Her blev jeg bedt om at forklare hvorfor jeg var på besøg for hele gruppen, og flere af dem udtrykte at de værdsatte at jeg var på besøg. Jeg tror de føler at deres arbejde med at få afvænnet deres voldelige adfærd er vigtigt når der kommer besøgende udefra, og især at det er en studerende fra et andet land. Bagefter checkins var der feedback hvor man giver feedback til en bestemt person eller hele gruppen, og på den måde relaterer til hinandens oplevelser eller følelser. Jeg var overrasket over hvor gode de er til at sætte ord på deres oplevelser og til at støtte hinanden. Det fik mig til at indse at de alle er gode mennesker som bare har taget en dum beslutning på et tidspunkt i deres liv, og af den grund har sat sig selv i denne situation. Jeg tror de er klar over mere om deres frustration og adfærd end mange "normale" mennesker som udøver verbal eller følelsesmæssig vold i det små i deres hverdag.
Efter første halvdel af programmet var der frokostpause hvor jeg tog med arrangørerne ud og spise frokost, og hvor vi snakkede en masse om programmet, min uddannelse, indtryk osv. Efter næste halvdel tog jeg til Glide for at lave nogle interviews med deltagerne af Men in Progress og til selve MiP derefter.
Torsdag tog jeg i fængsel igen, var heldig at få et lift af en af arrangørerne som bor i nærheden af mig. Denne gang var det mere intenst da to af fangerne kom op at skændes ret groft, og kom med trusler om bl.a. at brække hinandens kæbe. Det var tæt på at ende i fysisk slåskamp så de blev adskilt, og resten af programmet blev aflyst. Den ene fange blev flyttet til en anden afdeling, og imens snakkede de to arrangører med den anden fange som jeg også deltog i. Efter han var faldet lidt ned begyndte han at snakke om hans frustration over hans situation, og især da han snakkede om at han ikke var i stand til at være der til hans børns fødselsdage og kunne opdrage dem, var der noget der ramte mig. Jeg måtte kæmpe for at holde mine tårer tilbage, for jeg kunne virkelig mærke hans frustration. Efter vi var færdige fik jeg et lift ind til Glide hvor vi snakkede lidt videre om hændelsen, meget positivt.
Jeg er super glad for jeg har fået denne mulighed for at opleve programmet inde i fængslet, for det har været virkelig lærerigt. Jeg tager derud igen i morgen tirsdag og på torsdag. På onsdag kan jeg forhåbentlig overvære en survivor's impact class i fængslet, som er hvor et kvindeligt voldsoffer kommer ud og taler om hendes oplevelse og traumer. Det skulle også være meget intenst.
Onsdag til lørdag fik jeg besøg af Chantal, en pige fra Tyskland. Det var meningen at Kelley skulle have hende boende (en ven af en ven) men da hun lige var blevet opereret og efterfølgende genoptræning spurgte hun mig om jeg kunne have hende boende i stedet. Chantal ankom til Glide i min frokostpause, så hun satte sine tasker, og vi spiste frokost sammen og mødtes så igen da jeg havde fri. Hun blev meget interesseret i Glide, så jeg foreslog at hun kunne komme på besøg til MiP om torsdagen som hun tog imod og blev meget positivt overrasket over.
Fredag var der igen fest hos de to andre tyske piger som vi tog til sammen med en masse house mates og 2 andre gæster i huset. Pigerne rejser hjem i dag, så de holdt fest i den anledning. Om lørdagen tog Sid, Chantal og jeg ud til Academy of Art som har udstilling med alle afgangsprojekterne, samt udstilling af veteranbiler som de af en eller anden grund ejer. Det var meget godt og inspirerende. Academy of Art er virkelig stort i SF. De har deres eget museum, radiostation, kollegier, avis, bussystem osv.
Lørdag aften kørte jeg Chantal til lufthavnen, og søndag var vi nogle stykker fra huset som tog til en gadefestival i North Beach (italienerkvarteret). Efter festivalen tog vi til en anden festival - troede vi. For da vi kom frem til stedet var det i en privat lejlighed, hvor de var i gang med en form for healing session. Da vi kom derop skulle vi igennem en labyrint inde i lejligheden. En pige tog os straks i hænderne og lavede en cirkel med os, hvor vi skulle lave underlige øvelser med armene og vejrtrækningsøvelser. Vi stod et par minutter og kiggede på de underlige mennesker og udsmykning der var overalt inden vi besluttede at tage en tur i Golden Gate Park. Underlig og meget SF agtig dag, man render altid ind i underlige, uforklarlige og kreative arrangementer.
I dag mødtes jeg og spiste frokost med Kelley og hendes mor som lige var på besøg i SF. Hun er ellers hjemme i Fresno imens hun genoptræner sit knæ.
Som i kan høre sker der stadig en masse fantastiske ting, og jeg er begyndt at blive en smule sentimental over kun at have en måned tilbage i byen. Det er gået op for mig hvor meget jeg kommer til at savne de fantastiske mennesker jeg har mødt her og de uforglemmelige oplevelser jeg har haft.

Håber alle har det dejligt!
Niels

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On Friday in the weekend before last, Sid and I were at a party at Larena and her roommates, a female friend who is also from Germany and a guy from France. The Frenchman was going home a few days after, so they threw a farewell party for him. They have all studied a semester at the Academy of Art in SF. It was really nice, and there were many people from different places, and we were home around 7 in the morning - quite a european party style. After the party, I slept 12 hours and when I woke up there was a party in the house, which of course you can't miss. Sunday was the Haight Street Festival, which was really good. We were a few from the house that went in, met with Kelley and the German girls again. It was a bit confusing so we spent some time getting lost from each other and try to find each other again.
On Tuesday morning I went to jail - I had a 30 day clearance to visit, so I had made an agreement with the organizer out there. When I arrived and had come through security and had handed over my passport and phone, organizers of RSVP (resolve to stop violence program) arrived but none of them knew I was coming to visit. It turned out that my contact could not get to work because he had problems with the car, but I was welcomed after we sort out the confusion.
Before I entered the jail I was quite nervous, but quickly became comfortable being there. As soon as I stepped into the pod I was welcomed, and the inmates were very curious about why I was there. There are 48 inmates in this pod, and they were divided into 3 groups before we started class. It began with checkins in the same way as in Glide, where one by one talks about how their week has been, what they learned last week, what they want from the group this week, and if you have had a violent episode. Here I was asked to explain why I was visiting for the whole group, and several of them expressed that they appreciated that I was visiting. I think they feel that their work with violent behavior is important when there are visitors from the outside, and especially that it is a student from another country. After checkins there was feedback which is about giving feedback to a particular person or the whole group, and thus relate to each other's experiences or feelings. I was surprised how good they are to express their experiences and to support each other. It made me realize that they are all good people who just made ​​a bad decision at some point in their lives, and for that reason has put himself in this situation. I think they know more about their frustration and behavior than many "normal" people comitting verbal or emotional violence in a small scale in their everyday lives.
After the first half of the class it was lunch break where I went with the organizers to get lunch, and we talked a little about the program, my education, impressions, etc. After the next half I went to Glide to do some interviews with participants of Men in Progress and to the MiP class after.
Thursday I went to jail again, I was lucky to get a ride with one of the organizers who live near me. This time it was more intense as two of the inmates got in to a serious verbal fight, and threatened things like breaking each other's jaw. It was close to turn in to physical fight before they were separated, and the rest of the class was canceled. One inmate was moved to another department, and meanwhile the two organizers talked to the other inmate which I also participated in. After he calmed down a bit, he began to talk about his frustration with his situation, and especially when he talked about not being able to be there for his children's birthdays and to raise them, something hit me. I was struggling to hold back the tears, because I could really feel his frustration. After we were finished, I got a ride into Glide where we talked a bit further about the incident, very positive.
I'm super glad I have been given this opportunity to experience the program inside the jail, it has been really educational. I'm going back out there on Tuesday and on Thursday. On Wednesday, I hope to observe a survivor's impact class in the jail, which is where a female victim of violence comes out and talks about her experience and trauma. It would also be very intense.
Wednesday to Saturday I had a visitor, Chantal, a girl from Germany. Kelley was supposed to host her (a friend of a friend) but since she had just had surgery and subsequent recovery she asked me if I could host her instead. Chantal arrived at Glide on my lunch break, so she put her bags, and we had lunch together and met again when I was off work. She was very interested in Glide, so I suggested that she could come visit for MiP on Thursday as she accepted and was very excited about.
On Friday we went to another party at the two German girls, some house mates and 2 other guests in the house joined as well. The girls go home today, so they had a party on that occasion. On Saturday, Sid, Chantal and I went to the Academy of Art which has exhibition of all graduating projects and exhibition of vintage cars for some reason. It was very good and inspiring. Academy of Art is really big in SF. They have their own museum, radio station, dorms, newspaper, shuttle bus system, etc.
Saturday night I drove Chantal to the airport and on Sunday a few of us from the house went to a street festival in North Beach (Italian neighborhood). After the festival we went to another festival - we thought. Cause when we came to the place it was in a private apartment, where they were doing some kind of healing session. When we got up there we passed through a labyrinth inside the apartment. A girl took our hands right away and made ​​a circle with us, where we were to do strange exercises with your arms and breathing exercises. We stood for a few minutes and looked at the weird people and decor everywhere before we decided to go to Golden Gate Park. Weird and very SF-like day, you always run into some weird, unexplainable and creative events.
Today, I met and had lunch with Kelley and her mom who were visiting SF. She is home in Fresno while her knee is recovering.
As you can hear a lot of amazing things are still happening, and I'm starting to get a bit sentimental about having only one month left in the city. I started realizing how much I will miss the awesome people I have met here and the unforgettable experiences I've had.

Hope everybody is doing great!
Niels